Hi, you guys! I know we just had like a massive-fail vchat session with some of our teammates...but I miss all of you guys. Those pictures on kcm.phanfare site made me miss everyone a lot & helped me remind myself of what we've been through/learned in China. I hope you guys are all doing spectacular in EVERYTHING<3

Anyway. Week 2 of Sophomore Year. Can I say freaking hectic? Classes, Work, KCM, Servant Team, Outreach, Friends, Family. Wow. I can't help but to feel overwhelmed with the incredible amount of schoolwork, getting adjusted to WORK-work, balancing out friends, my oatmeal/special-k diet, my grandma, and another million things. I feel like I have absolutely no time for myself but more importantly,no time for God which is not acceptable. I came to San Diego determined to wake up 2 hours earlier than my first class, do QT/Worship in the Canyon with fellow Warreners, grab breakfast, and go to class, devoting my day to God. Can I say failblog.org? I'm so sad. I feel like page 1 of fail.org. I've only been getting 4-5 hours of sleep a day and God has seriously been holding me up with supernatural powers or SOMETHING. I'm not tired at all! I started to realize how important it is for me to constantly surround myself with good people who are edifying for me. And it's been a habit for me to carry around my Bible/Journal in my backpack everyday! It comes in handy time to time, although it worries me that my LeSportsac backpack from China won't be able to handle the weight of it anymore. :(/:) I've been growing and growing and dang. It's amazing to see myself grow from time to time. I'm appreciating a lot of things and being thankful, ALWAYS, no complaints. Constantly trying to pray while walking, chillin, thinking, whatever. I've accepted the fact that God wants to be in control of every.aspect.of.my.life. and that's powerful just even thinking about it. No matter WHAT, God should be my priority, nothing else. It's easy to say, but so difficult to put into action. I've been really reaching out to my close friends just showing them 'love' as best as i could. Showing grace & mercy, dang it's difficult, but I know I sure as hell didn't/don't deserve it either and I'm not complaining. :) I know I'm just going to get busier and busier every single day, but I realized that I just can't let the world get to me. Instead, I have to let HIS WORLD be the center of my life.

"May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing in to you, O LORD, my Rock and my Redeemer."

I think it's healthy to just be constantly reminded of what we've learned and got out of during our one month stay in China. It already seems like it was so long ago, but that's what reality does to us. It just keeps piling things on top of one another in our lives and it makes our memories become a little fuzzy. But that's okay. We got a whole eternity of making memories & living day by day for our Lord and Savior. I phileo you guys so much! :)

love, cin

didn't know

wow, after seeing edic's post i realize now that i can only post and can't comment on others' posts. gosh darnggg it. anyway. here's to u phil. i wanted to comment but couldn't so now i am. Even though as Christians, we all know that God loves us and it's probably the first thing we learn, but it's so easy to forget. Everytime i'm reminded of that, it still blows my mind--that Jesus Christ died for us even when we were still sinners--undeserving.

anyway thanks for the post. i really liked reading it.

Dang

Dang phil, you are a good writer. I can see why you're so prideful LOLZ.. JK

but seriously, you are a blessing to all of us

Thanks

Thanks Phil for that inspiring message of Biblical truth. What you said is definitely true and I agree we should all seek for confidence not in this world but in our Rock and Redeemer.

Also as a reminder for those of you who are serving the body of Christ in any way, whether it be serving in church, showing hospitality to your brothers or sisters, or doing good to the person you like (hopefully they are believers), I would like you to read this.

Servanthood does not nullify leadership; it defines it. Jesus does not cease to be the Lion of Judah when he becomes the lamb-like servant of the church.

-John Piper

"Everything I Think I Need Always Comes in Batteries" -JM

I’m not sure that this entry would apply to people who take pride in themselves, people without insecurities, or geniuses of sorts who have never failed at anything in life, who are so confident in their abilities that they’ll personally never see the need of a savior, God forbid. This entry is for the rest of us normal people (Already, I go on a tangent, but I think it’s a minor miracle if people with incredible ability are able to keep humble about their talents, and attribute all that they have to God. Not even kidding). Having said that…

A truth that’s changed my life is the notion that my value as a Christian is derived not from the things that I’m able to do or the people I know or the things that I’ve been fortunate enough to accomplish. To be honest, I used to find my value in affirmation from other people or from the number of friends I had. But, I’ve since come to realize that as long as I hold onto my personal conviction that God loves me, I can be completely alone and I’ll be perfectly fine. My value comes from the fact that Christ chose to die for me because he loves me more than I’ll ever imagine. That type of realization just blows my mind.

People without an understanding of love, I’ve realized, are surprisingly insecure, regardless of how laudable their achievements or enviable their personal qualities. Those who know deeply that they’re loved, however, possess that very quiet yet powerful confidence — a confidence not in themselves but one that is deeply embedded and rooted in an external force. Nothing shakes them, nothing overtakes them because they have a peace that literally transcends all understanding. Seeing these two qualities up close and personally… well, it’s not hard to tell when someone’s got that bona fide Christian swag. That kind of swag is what most people seem to want.

My challenge to you is this: try finding that same value for yourself. Struggle and wrestle with that idea. At the end of the day, the things that bring you pleasure are ultimately fleeting and at some point, I guarantee that they will let you down. If there’s one thing I’ve learned during the twenty one years of my young life, it’s that. Christ is the one constant that can and will endure through any bullcrap and still come out on top, bigger and better than before. The fact that His love for us is enough should be the foundation of our self-worth. You are loved so much more than you’ll ever understand. You are loved so much. Therein lies our value.

Otherwise, I’m not sure that we amount to much but ephemeral vapors caught in a passing breeze.

NorCal Trip

Hey guys. Most of you guys are on the freeway right now going back down to SoCal and while you guys are going down, i decided to write a bloggg.

Thank you guys for coming up and sacrificing so much (especially you Gloria and Audrey, even when you guys have hw) for this NorCal trip. Thanks for such a blessed time to just hangout, eat, play, share, sing praise songs, and everything together once again.

For me, it honestly was weird seeing you guys up at Berkeley, especially at FiCB. It was like two different worlds clashing. But honestly, it was such a blessed time for me because it reminded me that God is still the one and only, same God. Although KCM is no more here at Berkeley, FiCB is the ministry I am to serve and to minister to and you guys coming to FiCB and even doing Obsession for the ministry was awesome. Thank you guys for your willingness to go to a fellowship and bless us with skits and your presence while we could've just went out and had fun and play around.

You guys coming up here helped me to adjust to Berkeley again too. Instead of it being a sudden change from China 2k9 to a sophomore in FiCB, it was more of integrated because both were there simultaneously. It was a physical reminder for me to see that.

Lastly, I wanted to say that God is seriously freaking awesome and crazy. All the things we've done up here, all the fun, laughs we shared to even the angers and tears, I feel that We've learned something through it all. At least I did, as I shared with you guys at marina.
:) thanks guys! have a safe drive back downnnnn <333333333 I love you guysss

we will see each other very soooooon. at the weddding!!!!
*****dont forget to bring HAWTT dates****

and i just remembered our ridiculous ride back to Berkeley from Fentons....You guys are FREAKING down. to even get lost. I like people who are down. China team is DOWN.

What's the Difference?

What's up China brothers and sisters :) Here's an entry I'm going to post on my blog tomorrow. Just wanted to share it with you all before I shared it with anyone else.

--

It's been nearly two weeks since I've journeyed back from China, and I think it's fair to say that I'm rapidly becoming acclimated with American culture again. With each passing day, I find myself caught up in a torrent of to-do lists, a myriad of temptations, and the result is that I'm left with far less time and alone time than I thought I had. I've been telling myself that during my breaks, I would read more of the Bible and spend quality time with God in prayer. Unfortunately, my list of chores and responsibilities certainly isn't growing any shorter. If anything, it's constantly growing larger, line by line, which leads me to believe that I can't take any breaks -- I just have to keep chopping away at this to-do list, little by little. And before I know it, it's time to head to bed. I quickly squeeze in a couple chapters of the Bible, I say a little prayer, and I turn in for the night.

That's how I've felt over the past two weeks, especially over the past week. It's such a dramatic difference from the way I was accustomed to approaching my day during my stint in China, when we'd wake up, sing "It is Good," and spend some time delving into God's words. I consider myself fortunate, for the exclusive opportunity I had to be in China and to begin each day with a word of prayer. I was aware of how much I grew, and how much deeper my convictions became throughout and after missions. But recently, I've had doubts creep into my life. Worrying about how many things I needed to take care of led to spending less time with God, which espoused within me great anxiety and much less peace in my heart. In those moments of weakness, I could feel that I was being bombarded by temptations left and right, and I could hardly resist. I questioned myself fiercely during these past two weeks, wondering whether all the growth I experienced during the previous 31 days was really just a high, even when I was absolutely convinced that an emotional high was not what I'd been experiencing. I was tricked into believing that missions is not relevant to life (life, in the sense that we have our own lives we need to live and carry out) because we were in freaking China, apart from the world and society, apart from real-life situations, apart from temptation, with a pastor to guide us and a group of brothers and sisters to help point each other back to God. It messed with my mind that much, that when Doubt whispered into my ear, "You aren't as spiritually strong as you think you are. Phil, the house you're building is built on a foundation of sand," I would believe it -- all because I felt like I was becoming increasingly estranged from God, and even worse, that I didn't belong back in Berkeley.

I hated it.

But in a moment of clarity, I realized that the way I approached my day makes such a huge difference in how I live out the rest of my day.

"Therefore, everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house; yet it did not fall, because it had its foundation on the rock. But everyone who hears these words of mine and does not put them into practice is like a foolish man who built his house on sand. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell with a crash." -- Matthew 6:24-27

Instead of trying to make time for God sometime later in the day, it's so important to wake up and spend time with God at the beginning of your morning, in the Word and in prayer. By dedicating that day to God and promising to live it for Him, we declare Him sovereign over our day and our lives. Knowing that gives me so much more peace in my heart. If I'm to do that in the morning, however, then I shouldn't be staying up so late (otherwise, I'll wake up late). Grace is a discipline, after all. Besides, there are far more temptations at night, of which I'm completely aware.

So, do you worry often? Are you anxious over little things? Then let me ask you this: are you dedicating your day to God, or are you not? Are you trying to fit him into your life, or are you entrusting each day of your life into God's hands?

TESTIMONY!

STSM China Testimony

As Christians, Jesus says this to us: “A new command I give you: Love one another as I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.” (John 13:34-35). For the majority of my life, I focused on the first half of these verses, not truly understanding the meaning of this commandment. In my one month in China, the latter half became so clear to me. The latter half of this commandment points out why we should love one another: so that we can preach the gospel through actions.
China is a country where the gospel cannot be preached. We cannot verbally express the good news to anyone unless the Chinese people ask us. However, they will not ask us unless we give them a good reason why. On the second to last day of the trip, our team went to the Pearl Market next to the Temple of Heaven. In these markets, sellers try to rip off buyers by deliberately lying to them. They’ll do anything for money. Right before it was time to go, I took one final glance around to see if I wanted anything else. I saw in the corner of my eye, a little girl in a booth, lying to make money. I thought nothing of it at the time, but reflecting back, that scene is heartbreaking. This story epitomizes the heart of the Chinese people. Young and old, rich and poor are all deceived by the devil. Instead of “In God We Trust”, China’s motto is “In Learning We Trust”.
China is one of the most spiritually dark countries in this world. They truly depend on themselves and therefore have no hope. The saddest thing about Chinese people is that they think they are happy but they do not understand true happiness. By describing the lost in China, I’ve essentially described every lost person in this world. However, in China, because of the government and people, the darkness is so much more evident.
I had one month in Beijing, Hunchun, and Yincheon to save as many people as possible. Being in China, however, I felt like my God-given “ability” to share the gospel was useless. I did not understand the meaning of evangelism. To me, saving lives was a numbers game. I wanted to get as many people as possible. But on this trip, I realized that preaching the Word is not about talking about our faith, it is about acting out our faith. The latter half of John 13:34-35 became so much more powerful. We could not openly preach the gospel, but in secret, we could present the good news by loving one another and by loving the people.
I went to China and I did not save a single person. Yet I am satisfied. I was simply a planter of seeds, trusting in a God who is greater than the Chinese government and the cold hearts of the Chinese people. God is so much greater than me. He is the “righteous God, who searches minds and hearts” and he will “bring to an end the violence of the wicked” (Psalm 7:9). I thought our team was so limited in China, but in reality we were free. Free to share love so much through actions that words were not needed. Knowing that God would do His work eased all my frustration and worries about not saving a single person.
Besides learning to be a love witness, God helped me gain vision for how I could live a Christ-centered, mission-oriented life. I would not say I gained a heart for China, but I did gain a heart for the lost. Part of this trip opened my eyes to the darkness of North Korea as well. On the Chinese-North Korea border, I gazed into North Korea knowing that there was very little light in there. There is so much work to be done not only in that country but the rest of the world. I thank God for opening my eyes to the darkness in this world on this trip. “There is no one righteous, not even one” (Romans 3:10), yet in His perfect love and mercy, we can all be made righteous. Knowing this, let us all live accordingly. Let us all follow Christ’s new commandment no matter what country we’re in, knowing that our obedience can save souls.

Header Fail

Hey guys. I was working on making a header for this blog, but it ended up as utter FAIL. My bad. Any, hope all of you are have an awesome summer. I just finished watching Rocky 3 and 4 again for the nth time, and it still gets me. I almost cried. jk, but not really...=] Keep up the disciplines that we picked up in China, and let's continue to reflect upon our trip and all that good stuff. Goodbye!

Richard

Reasons for my smiles =)

i'm pretty sure all of you are out and about, seeing your friends you haven't seen for the past month or so, but i'm pretty much stuck at home because my mom told me that i am "too busy" this summer. frustrating, but i'm dealing with it. after having a "refreshing" talk with my mom, i found some colored string that my LA friends left at my house before the mission trip. HAHA. i think it's become a habit for me to just cut it into equal lengths, tie it together, and slip in the saftey pin and start making a bracelet. as i was making it, it seriously brought back memories of PK camp and how Matty was trying so hard to make a perfect one for Cindy, Linda and Hallelujah making atleast 50 bracelets for the rabbits, and the rest of us making it for one another, even as all the good colors were running out. LOL. i only got started and i stopped after making 10 lines because i really missed you guys, even though i saw most of you last night. i dont' really know what i'm supposed to say in this blog, but i just wanted to let you guys know that i'm really glad that we were able to spend the last month together and have a good enough time for me to think back and laugh out loud at all the memories we shared and will share together, even in the midst of my frustrations. :) I will see some of you next week, but just know that i'm still praying for you lots.

I am a noob

WOW.
I fail at this.
Mexico had to walk me step-by-step through this... and although I am terrible at these things, I will try because I love you guys.
I can't believe it's already been a week since we came back from China.
I found myself a barf buddy... how is everyone else doing?
It's amazing how easy it is to lose focus - but let's remember that IT IS GOOD TO PRAISE THE LORD, IT IS GOOD TO SING ABOUT HIS MAJESTY, to proclaim his love in the morning and his faithfulness at night! :)

Summer stuff

As the team medic, I will do my best to try to help you both spiritually and physically. MEANING if you have any spiritual problems or physical problems, please post them on this blog or email through our email thread and ill pray my heart out for you. yay. if anyone is thinking of things to do and wants to know more about God i recommend: http://www.desiringgod.org/ . Just do it.

distractions

I feel hella distracted now that I'm back home and I'm guessing a lot of you feel the same way... maybe. Pray that we stay focused on God and we stay hungry for Him. Huzzah! I miss you guys and I miss China. I keep having dreams about being in China. :O! Hope to see you guys soon! (Norcal trip or LZ's wedding or maybe even sooner!)

First-Ever Post.

Hi, everyone. :) This is Cindy blogging in our first-ever BLOGSPOT. yay! Richard and I wanted to make one so that we can all keep each other updated/accountable throughout the year and whatnot. I already miss you guys so much!!

Love, cin.

p.s. I'll facebook msg everyone with the email/pw soon. hehe